My Blog Bubble

Take every day as it comes.  Grief is consuming - just like love.  In fact many quotes state that grief is, in fact, love in a new form. We walk our own paths and just ask for your support along the way.  I don't know where this path leads and how I am meant to deal with it, what I need to equip myself with.   I have the love of my family and friends and the possibility of counselling.  I have a million tears and all the time in the world. I have a long journey ahead and I am not sure it comes to an end, maybe I stumble less, along the way. I have really angry days.  Days where everything irritates me.  Days where everything reminds me.  Days I feel numb.  Days I feel sad.  Days I cry.  Days I laugh.  Days I pretend. Your caring doesn't go unnoticed - I love you for every smile and kind word you say or send.  The hugs.  Thank you for joining me on my journey - my expedition party.

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is.  I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better.  That this is it.  That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug.  Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting.  If we want to talk, I promise, we will.  Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic.  Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond.  Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call.  It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

One of the things about depression is the fact that it doesn't matter how bad you are if you know someone is suffering you reach out to them. You don't want then to feel as bad as you so you want them to feel better.  You want them to know they are not alone and that you care. I do it all the time and I have realised, since writing this, that many others do the same.   It is like a radar. We reach out to help those that are afraid to ask for help themselves. Those we can see are suffering. And like moths to a flickering light we are pulled to those that need us those that have shown bravery and stood up. We draw solace from the fact we are not alone. Strength from being a crook for someone to lean on. Understanding from being someone else's shoulder to cry on, their ear to speak to. Sometimes we say nothing and other times we are the voice of reason.  We may not be able to fix ourselves but strive to fix those that bleed, like us, whenever we can.  T...