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Those internal incessant voices Are your repeated words They are the horrible things said That I should never have heard They repeat themselves overtly And burn within my heart Until I can only hear them And they slowly tear me apart I can be on my own completely Or smiling within a crowd The sun could be shining brightly Or I could be under a storm cloud They start to strangle me And cloud my busy mind Until I can't but help to wish My mind be free my body left behind

This blog has been on and off for two years and mainly in the off position whilst I struggle with my mental health. Below is a short poem I wrote in May 2014: I want to go to sleep and not wake up Of what's on offer I have had enough I don't want to pass away nor give up the fight I am not losing the battle I'm finding the light There seems very little to keep me here Walk towards the light without any fear I won't be missed: at least not for long  You can laugh and smile; life does go on  Wear bright colours don't wear black Always look forward; don't look back I will be waiting and watching over you Always remember that I loved you.  Recent events and my continuing counselling often get me thinking about suicide. One question I am asked often is if I have suicidal thoughts. The sad fact about mental health is that, yes, I do. More often than I care to think about. I wonder how easy it would be to crash my car or step in from of t...

I am not asking you to do anything I am not nagging all the time I am just sitting writing poetry Looking for words that rhyme I want you to understand me I need to feel your love around I need you to know we are both lost And that we both can be found All I am doing is whispering quietly  Hoping that you will hear That you will finally understand  That there is nothing left to fear You lock yourself away completely You have another drink You tie yourself up in knots And all you do is think and think You do not listen when I speak At least you do not hear You are running away internally And making our future unclear. Please stop overthinking Worrying what you may lose  Look at what you have, be brave;  And us, I ask, please choose