100 Sad Days; Day 48: Who Am I?

Today I found myself laughing and joking at my current situation; a relationship breakdown with a custody issue thrown in.

Who in their right mind would be smiling about that? Why am I not crying and feeling sad? Am I putting a brave face on it or is this me coping? I just don't know. Is this the result of being on medication? Will it hit me one day like a sledgehammer and I won't want to creep out of my pit?

Or am I just getting on with it. Putting my daughter first and making light of a situation that has been unsuspectingly thrust upon me?

Who am I? Am I this strong woman? Am I this bubbly person that everyone sees? Or am I papering over cracks and painting on a smile?

It scares me that I really don't know.

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