Skip to main content

LuluSLR: Mum's Got Cancer; Part One

I originally published this post on 13 December 2016, a year before my son was born, and four years ago today.  I thought, with the anniversary of Mum's death on the horizon, and with losing two friends to this disease in recent times I would re-publish these posts (minus the fundraising bits for Pancreatic Cancer).

I thought long and hard about writing something knowing Mum doesn't like to talk about these things.  However I think that everyone now knows and, being selfish: for me this is cathartic.

Much like my #100SadDays blog I don't want this to be all doom and gloom.  I want to talk about how it has made me feel and how it has affected everyone; including my beautiful mum.



I have written about #cancer before; it isn't a new subject for me.  I have spoken freely about how I feel about it and how it has affected both me, my family and my friends.

I have said that it doesn't "touch" people as so often is coined: it rapes and kills and blights.  It doesn't affect just the one person that has it; it affects a circle of people and the ripple effect is immense.

When I was 19 I went to university and I was lucky enough that at John Moores there was a trial for you to have your smear done earlier that the Government recommended age of 25.  This started off the process for me, which in turn lead to them finding pre-cancerous cells in my cervix.  It wasn't cancer but left untreated could be.  I was one of the lucky ones - and had it not been for #LJMU I wouldn't have been so lucky had I had to wait a number of years before my first smear.  Anyhow i had a high level of these cells and needed treatment on numerous occasions.  #Colposcopy is a word in my vocabulary that I wish I didn't know how to pronounce!  It took 14 years to get the all-clear but I did.  However every three years when I have to go for my smear I am still a bag of nerves when that brown envelope comes through the door with the results.  So cancer has "touched" me.

My Dad had to have radiotherapy for #prostate cancer - which I am told is one of the better cancer's to get (if there is such a thing).  

Too many of my friends have and are still battling various forms of cancer.  My grandmother died of cancer.  It is everywhere.

Then it came and "touched" my mum.  I am so angry at it.  How dare it come and touch one of the nicest people on this Earth.  Someone that has battled Multiple Sclerosis (and won) and that has given so much and worked so hard.  Someone that is loved by everyone.  There are so many bad people out there - why didn't they get it?

I'm with #Deadpool on this one:


Comments

  1. Omg i didnt no big hugs and kisses to your mum lulu shes a fighter xx

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting

Popular posts from this blog

London Calling

I am no longer based "in town" and I never thought I'd miss it. Yet every Wednesday when I am London bound I find myself looking forward to what I will be greeted by. It's not the hustle and bustle - the fast moving commuters and slow shuffling tourists. It's not the shops and bargains abound. It's the buildings, the Underground, the knowing smile you may get from a fellow passenger, or the sarcastic comment of a Tube driver. I love London and its diversity. I love that you can walk just a short distance and be greeted by a whole new world. I love that you can randomly bump into an old friend you haven't seen for years. Making our big world smaller every day. I love St Paul's how proud it stands in the heart of the City. The fact it has survived wars and still attracts throngs of people to it everyday. I love the pomp and circumstance of the City and its Idiosyncrasies. I love that the museums are free and that you can meander around beautifu...

Kicking and Screaming

There isn't much to indicate that I am approaching my late thirties at an alarming rate: well apart from my date of birth; constant tiredness and the fact that a 25 year reunion of leaving Baring Primary School looms large.  In general people have the decency to act surprised when I tell them I am soon to be 37. Most people I say, apart from my boss, who recently asked when I had turned forty and when I said I was only 36 retorted that I looked much older. Nice! Anyhow age ain't nuthin' but a number and all that. And I wouldn't say that I am yet middle aged (unless I am planning on dying before the age of 75: I know the Government would like me to and will probably have me working until then but that is by the by).... Today I did a headstand and controlled dismount; I did a handstand; and stated a could do a cartwheel (which for the record I can but didn't fancy my chances of not knocking someone over).  I didn't quite manage a shoulder mount but I did do well (...

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Ten

I saw you the other day and I knew it was close. So frail. So yellow.   But all your own teeth - and the yellow makes them look so white. And mum - your hair looks so thick as it frames your tiny face. Your warm eyes and ski-slope nose.   I am going to miss you. I don't know how it is going to feel. I am not one of those daughters that calls every day - or even every week. But you are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers.   It wasn't that our lives were too busy just that we knew the other was there and that we loved them. Would I have more moments if I could?   Yes!   Of course. More memories and laughs. Time with just you. Time with Eliza and you. You.   But I want that time when you were well and able to enjoy the walks by the sea.   Thank you for the memories and for making me into the person I am.   I love you forever and think of you always.   Mum x