Mum's Got Cancer: Part Three

In 1996 Mum was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and our lives changed forever. Rachel and I were to realise just how fallible our parents were. Both she and I recalled a time when we lived with Mum and were watching a documentary on the TV; it was about a man that had MS and his story. He fell ill and got worse and worse until one day he lost all control of his muscles and could do nothing for himself or speak. We both vividly remember Mum saying "Girls if ever i should become like that please kill me". Little did we know that less than 10 years later fate would diagnose our mum with this horrible illness.

I was away at Uni in 1996 and felt useless. When I would come home I would do all I could and make sure others rallied around. Mum started to be able to talk and walk again and her symptoms went in to remission. . Neurologists decided this was not the first episode but probably the second - her specialist having written on her notes that he suspected MS but didn't want to worry her when she had two small children to look after.

Anyhow 12 years past and we waited for her next bout of sickness; Mum moved, with Terry, to a bungalow to allow her to be able to move around in a wheelchair when the time came. She changed her diet and became a vegetarian (blamed partly on me at the time). The time came and went, visits to Kings and scans and no change in the myelin sheath, in fact it seemed to have repaired itself in places. Quite unheard of. Had Mum beaten this?

Grandchildren were born and their lives celebrated with frequent trips to the seasdie to see Granny and eat copious amounts of gingerbread men. We felt like there was a ticking MS Time Bomb in the back of our minds but Mum was leading a good life. Then POW: CANCER.

Completely out of the blue. Unexpected. Unwelcome. Unwanted. Here to stay.

Comments

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Thirteen

It seems amazing to me that I am writing another post. As I rounded the corner at the hospice this morning, walking towards the bay you are in, I held my breath. I was greeted by smiles and there you were. More amazingly I said hello and you spoke back! Mum you are incredible, amazing, an inspiration. Lying there listening, with Alex and I, to some Graham Kendrick. We have moved you to your own room to give you some peace and the freedom to leave us when it feels right for you. In the meantime I am in awe, as a Biologist, that you are still here. All of the staff are amazed and all we are pleased able to offer you respite. You aren't in pain, at least we don't think so, and we know you can hear us. I think you are just catching up on all the sleep you have missed over the years. All of those early mornings; all of those sleepless nights due to your "hot legs". We thought we would lose you to the MS but we were wrong. ...

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is. I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better. That this is it. That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug. Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting. If we want to talk, I promise, we will. Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic. Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond. Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call. It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

LuluSLR: Mum's Got Cancer; Part One

I originally published this post on 13 December 2016, a year before my son was born, and four years ago today. I thought, with the anniversary of Mum's death on the horizon, and with losing two friends to this disease in recent times I would re-publish these posts (minus the fundraising bits for Pancreatic Cancer). I thought long and hard about writing something knowing Mum doesn't like to talk about these things. However I think that everyone now knows and, being selfish: for me this is cathartic. Much like my #100SadDays blog I don't want this to be all doom and gloom. I want to talk about how it has made me feel and how it has affected everyone; including my beautiful mum. I have written about #cancer before; it isn't a new subject for me. I have spoken freely about how I feel about it and how it has affected both me, my family and my friends. I have said that it doesn't "touch" people as so often is coined: it rapes and kills and blights...

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