My Blog Bubble

As you know; Mum died, four weeks ago.  I haven't really felt like writing - even though I have had ideas of what I could write about. In truth I have felt pretty numb.  I have been confused by my lack of feelings towards the death of the greatest influencer in my life. In fact I have been worried that I am devoid of emotion. Yes I have sobbed and been upset but not felt the devastation that seems to warrant the condolences that people pass my way. Then I realise that maybe I am at the bottom of a well, sat on the dark damp stones and unable to see anything above me - not even a glimmer of light.  Maybe I am at the bottom of a hill or the top of a precipice.  I really don't know.   The long and short of it is that there is no set way to feel or to grieve.  I feel like I will be hit by a wrecking ball (hopefully one not ridden by Miley Cyrus) at any moment.  Or I wish that I could just sleep all of this away. I dream that mum is ill.  I dream that she is ali