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Showing posts from November, 2020

LuluSLR: Tier 3 is Depression

 I was driving along this morning feeling rather down in the mouth (odd saying) and thinking about what Christmas is going to look like for Joe Public and all the local businesses.  I realised it is going to be so different and hopefully something we won't have to experience again in our lifetime.  It also got my thinking about what it feels like to be in lockdown. And that is when I realised that being in a period of depression is like being in Tier 3; there are people next door going about their lives in Tiers 1 & 2 and then there is you.  Locked up with no idea when it will end.  Not able to go out and have fun.  Not able to do what other "normal" people can do.  It isnt like lockdown - as that is soemthing everyone is put through; this is just for you; your own little Tier courtesy of your mind.   I know it sounds daft but so many people cannot understand mental health problems and even those that have them find it difficult to explain.  How do you describe someth

LuluSLR: Getting Dressed; originally published in July 2014

Take things day by day they say. Sometimes that can be a struggle. Taking things hour by hour also seems too difficult. I try to deal with things as they come along and so today I thought I'd blog about my first thought when I wake: Always: is it a weekend (no work, time with family and friends)?  If not then I know I need to battle with myself to get out of bed.  I know everyone hates getting up. For me it isn't so much that I hate it it's more that I just cannot seem to do it as I know what lies ahead: another day.  If I get up I have to accept the fact I need to shower and get dressed, get Eliza up and dressed, drop her off and go to work, all before I can come home again to my place of "safety". The task of what I am going to wear overwhelms me sometimes and I cannot get out of bed without having a clear plan of action. If a chosen garment isn't clean then my plan crumbles and so do I. Silly isn't it?  How can something so small affect

LuluSLR: Touched by Cancer - originally published in 2013

They used to say that 1 in 4 people would be touched by cancer - now I know that might be an old and out of date statistic - but it has always stuck with me. Scary as it is the bit that gets me is the touched part; cancer doesn't touch; it devastates, it rapes, it hounds, it kills people. Cancer casts a far-reaching shadow that lasts longer than the disease itself. A touch is a caring thing. One in four will be affected - this doesn't provide enough depth. Cancer be it affecting you directly, or a loved one, does so much more than anyone knows - until it happens.  I am a firm believer that cancer has been around for years and that in the past many of the people that were recorded of dying of natural causes or old age actually died of some form of cancer or another. It is just that nowadays we know it's name - or we have given this monster a name. Maybe it it nature's way of culling us, but does it need to be so cruel, so brutal? Cancer doesn't care how old

LuluSLR Blogging the Unsayable - originally published in July 2014

Everywhere I look I am seeing posts about #100HappyDays. Or posting three #positive things a day. Even I have been sucked in and am partaking in the daily challenge of finding something that made me smile, taking a photo, and posting in to my Instagram (@LuluSLR) account. I am only on day 3 and found Day 2 a struggle. Why?  I suffer with #depression and my least favourite day of the week is a Thursday.  Anyhow I got there and posted a photo of my daughter doing her impression of Elsa from #Frozen. Doing this got me thinking about why I chose to take part. I thought it would be good for me, make me find something to smile about, even when I don't want to. However it made me think I should do the same for what makes me #sad. This is less about photos and more about words after all who wants to see my miserable face everyday!  Especially when the things that make me feel down are often in my head.  I am going to blog on what it's like to live with #depression.  Ple