Mum's Got Cancer; Part Sixteen

I am still numb. Not sure how to feel. Everyone tells me they are sorry for my loss and seem almost more upset from me. I don't understand what is happening.

I am told it will blindside me at some point and I guess I am waiting for that.

It hit me yesterday that maybe the reason I am not yet grieving is that I cannot, in my head, justify the person we are placing in a box is you; Mum.

I saw you diminish before my eyes and life slowly ebb away. That person that was left wasn't you. Not my Mum. My mum is was full of life and optimistic.

The person I wish I hadn't kissed on the head, lying dead on that bed, wasn't you.

Although there is a smile on my face when I think of the party popper in your hand that I had left on your pillow the night before. Go and celebrate that you made it there on your own terms.

Love you Mum x

www.justgiving.co.uk/chrisgelling

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