100 Sad Days; Day 28: Fluffy Black Gremlins

My medication has turned my black dog to a small bundle of fluff. He is controlled, held back as it were, and lives in my stomach. I know he is there and at times I can feel him straining at the leash to get out. It scares me.

I guess I could liken him to a Gremlin. Looks cute and harmless but add water and he becomes a menace and ruins everything. The medication, on the whole, keeps the water at bay.

Sometimes though I can feel that little tike getting ready for a swim and I don't know how to stop him. He gets into my thoughts and my actions. He controls my subconscious. I want to be happy but he wants to play.

I'd say I want him to drown but that would only make matters worse! I just hope that one day he finds a new home. Maybe not with someone else but somewhere away from me

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