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100 Sad Days: Day 30; When Life Takes Over

Some things just take over. There I was feeling like life was on the up and that maybe I was on the right side of my dark journey. Walking towards the brighter side of life.

Then kaboom. The words "no you won't be returning to work you won't be leaving the hospital" hit me full on in the face.

That phrase made the whole awful situation more real. I visit A&E on occasion (riding breaks and poling dislocations) but never have I had to stay. Even after Eliza I managed less than ten hours in hospital. I couldn't believe this was happening. 

I felt scared and bereft, alone, sad.  I felt like I was being punished. And then I saw the consultant.  Told off for not going in sooner he told me that by ignoring the pain it was highly likely he would have been resuscitating me if I had left it any longer.  Wow. I realised then that I was in trouble and that a high pain threshold is not always a good thing.

Anyhow I had the surgery that night. I had my Toast of Champions in the early hours. Followed by breakfast and homeward bound.

Now I just have to remember how to take things easy with a three year old. Oh and to keep taking the tablets. 

Happy birthday me.


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