Skip to main content

100 Sad Days; Day 34: Say it Like you Mean it


Elton John was wrong. Sorry is not the hardest word. In fact it is all to easily said and not meant. 

For years I thought that flowers were a sad excuse for a sorry. Now I realise that what is worse is the empty shell of a sorry. The echo of an unmeant apology received in hope but ushered in haste. 

I cannot count the times I have heard the word. From a forced apology "say you are sorry" to one that is said unkept. 

We all say sorry. We bump in to someone and manners tell us to apologise. We drop something and we apologise. Sorry here is lighthearted but still meant.

Kids fight or shout and apologise as they are taught to do. Sometimes they mean it sometimes they just say it. They are kids after all. 

Adults should know better.  Sorry should mean just that. It isn't an excuse for bad behaviour. It isn't a "make everything better with one word". It should be said with the mouth, the heart and the mind.  If you are sorry then be sorry.  Stop glossing over everything. If you are sorry for your actions and then go on repeating them what does that say about your apology?  If you say mean things and apologise but forget to think before you say them again, was your apology a pointless one?

Oftentimes we are truly only sorry when it is too late. When we cannot change what we have said or done. When the time has passed and the hurt already caused. 

At the time, you mean it, you want to make things better. A sorry is only a sorry if it changes a behaviour. Stops the recurrence.  Prevents another broken promise and an eventual shattered heart. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

London Calling

I am no longer based "in town" and I never thought I'd miss it. Yet every Wednesday when I am London bound I find myself looking forward to what I will be greeted by. It's not the hustle and bustle - the fast moving commuters and slow shuffling tourists. It's not the shops and bargains abound. It's the buildings, the Underground, the knowing smile you may get from a fellow passenger, or the sarcastic comment of a Tube driver. I love London and its diversity. I love that you can walk just a short distance and be greeted by a whole new world. I love that you can randomly bump into an old friend you haven't seen for years. Making our big world smaller every day. I love St Paul's how proud it stands in the heart of the City. The fact it has survived wars and still attracts throngs of people to it everyday. I love the pomp and circumstance of the City and its Idiosyncrasies. I love that the museums are free and that you can meander around beautifu...

Kicking and Screaming

There isn't much to indicate that I am approaching my late thirties at an alarming rate: well apart from my date of birth; constant tiredness and the fact that a 25 year reunion of leaving Baring Primary School looms large.  In general people have the decency to act surprised when I tell them I am soon to be 37. Most people I say, apart from my boss, who recently asked when I had turned forty and when I said I was only 36 retorted that I looked much older. Nice! Anyhow age ain't nuthin' but a number and all that. And I wouldn't say that I am yet middle aged (unless I am planning on dying before the age of 75: I know the Government would like me to and will probably have me working until then but that is by the by).... Today I did a headstand and controlled dismount; I did a handstand; and stated a could do a cartwheel (which for the record I can but didn't fancy my chances of not knocking someone over).  I didn't quite manage a shoulder mount but I did do well (...

100 Sad Days; Day 41: when is a bully not a bully?

I wrote this two years ago and never published it as I didn't feel I should: Is a bully that leaves a mark on someone's body worse than a bully that leaves a mark on someone's conscious - on their soul? I am inclined to think yes - maybe that is why I allow myself to stay in relationships with a bully.  Whereas I know the world wouldn't agree. A bully is a bully: be it mental or physical.  You can make excuses for their behaviour - something at which I am most practiced - but it doesn't make it right.  So why can I not admit that I am being bullied? I think everyone was bullied as a kid - I just chose to befriend the bully and "get him on side" and I think I have been doing the same ever since if I am honest.  What makes someone think they are allowed to pick fault with another person? We are all allowed opinions but you are not meant to enforce them on another. You may have insecurities but the way to beat them is not to put ano...