Skip to main content

100 Sad Days; Day 42: Fairytales and Lies

A hard-hitter from three years ago that remained unpublished until now:

I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up - happy and successful - I was never really sure what I wanted to be though. That changed often but seem to always go back to the same thing - maybe a blog for another time.

Lets talk about the happy and successful: neither of which I seem to have attained as yet. 

Now I am not silly I know fairy tales are just that, I don't believe in living happily ever after, I don't even believe love can last. So that part never figured hugely in my future:

I was going to be the next Dr Robertson (via phd not medicine); I was going to have a successful career whereby I could fend or myself; I was going to meet the man I was to marry at 26; we were going to have two children; we were going to be happy. Simple(s).

So lets look at that plan: I only managed a Masters (but I did achieve that whilst working full time); currently I am unemployed - I have had some very good jobs but they just do not seem to last;

I did meet my husband-to-be at 26 - sadly that didn't last and he is now my ex-husband; I have one very beautiful daughter; I cannot say I am happy with my life as it stands. 

Don't get me wrong I love my daughter but I didn't foresee falling for a man with two older children already, twelve years my senior, that smokes and is to all intents and purposes a functioning alcoholic. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is.  I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better.  That this is it.  That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug.  Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting.  If we want to talk, I promise, we will.  Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic.  Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond.  Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call.  It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

HelloLuluSLR; The Happiness Project

I was walking down a road the other day and saw a beautiful garden.  I wanted to stop and congratulate the home owner on its beauty but knew that would be odd.  So I thought wouldn't it be nice if I could drop in a card to say how appreciated their hard work was. Which got me to thinking about the many times I have given people compliments on their outfits, or hair, or the behaviour of their children, the times when I have seen a struggling Mum and wanted to give her some encouragement or high-five a breastfeeding mother.  I thought that it would be great to be able to do all of these things and thus I came up with the idea of The Happiness Project. I got home and designed some cards that I could get printed, with a blank back, and hand out when I wanted to spread the smile. The cards are simple and I hope that people will be able to find this blog or my facebook page and let me know they received the smile.  And I hope that will encourage them to pass...

Odd Socks

Today's pertinent question was: when do two odd socks make a pair? We all know the law of the wash - as Eddie Izzard once said we have to sacrifice a sock to the God of Washing. So we may put only pairs of socks into the washing machine but once they are clean and dry there will, invariably, be an odd sock. Search as you may you cannot find the other sock. So it gets put into the "odd sock drawer". A place where all odd socks lurk waiting for their long forgotten pair. They stay there, unloved and unused but nice and clean, just waiting. Patiently waiting. The drawer opens and they think "today is the day" but no more odd socks are added. Sometimes a sort out takes place and maybe a pairing is made or they are used as sock puppets - in a creative house with children maybe! Upon looking through my odd sock drawer this morning I did manage to make some pairings but I also came to wonder when two odd socks could be put together to make a pair? ...