100 Sad Days; Day 44: Endings

Love doesn't end in a firework. There are no flares to light the way to the next chapter of your life. Love fizzles out. Like a bottle of champagne sitting in a fridge without a spoon. It just loses its bubbles until one day it is flat.

Sometimes something shifts. One person changes. One person gives up. The fights culminate. Sometimes it is a whisper. A Subtle change. Whatever it is the end is signalled. Does it really come as a shock. Is it inevitable. Are you the first, or the last, to see it coming?

Where do those emotions go? What happens to all that love? That friendship? Why doesn't it bend like normal friendships? Why does it splinter into a million painful pieces?

Oftentimes it can be put down to others. Their opinions. Their interference. Their reliance. Sometimes it is the influence of outside forces. Sometimes it is just time, circumstance, situational.

What are we?

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Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is. I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better. That this is it. That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug. Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting. If we want to talk, I promise, we will. Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic. Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond. Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call. It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

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100 Sad Days; Day 34: Say it Like you Mean it

Elton John was wrong. Sorry is not the hardest word. In fact it is all to easily said and not meant. For years I thought that flowers were a sad excuse for a sorry. Now I realise that what is worse is the empty shell of a sorry. The echo of an unmeant apology received in hope but ushered in haste. I cannot count the times I have heard the word. From a forced apology "say you are sorry" to one that is said unkept. We all say sorry. We bump in to someone and manners tell us to apologise. We drop something and we apologise. Sorry here is lighthearted but still meant. Kids fight or shout and apologise as they are taught to do. Sometimes they mean it sometimes they just say it. They are kids after all. Adults should know better. Sorry should mean just that. It isn't an excuse for bad behaviour. It isn't a "make everything better with one word". It should be said with the mouth, the heart and the mind. If you are sorry then be sor...

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