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100 Sad Days: Day 21; How to be a Friend

When I first started my blog my friend Erica asked me to include an "episode" on what friends can do. Where to begin?!

Have patience. Be there for the long run and don't give up on us. People all too often bemoan that you have become too difficult to get out of the house or never return texts or calls. What they fail to realise is that you simply can't. You don't know where to begin. It doesn't mean you are not thinking of them you are just in a world of black. 

It's great to know people care so send a text (not expecting a response) or an email, a card, a postcard. Maybe just drop round for a cuppa. 

Take us as we are. The house may be a mess and we may not have showered for a few days. We may be wearing joggers and a hoodie, our pjs, a onesie. Please don't judge - we opened the door. Which is like opening our heart. 

Give us a hug. Pure and simple. 

I love fresh flowers. Often people with depression have eating issues but you can't go wrong with flowers - unless they are lillies and your friend hashayfever! 

Bring sweets or baked goodies. This goes against my previous point but would work for me as I am an eater when I am depressed!  Oh and milk (for the cuppa)...

Bring a smile. 

Sit and watch tv with us in silence. 

Maybe you could offer to look after the kids for an hour (so we could bath or just do something!).

Or maybe offer some help with a task. Make a list: we love a list (another blog topic I fear) of what we need to do.

Don't be afraid to laugh and joke. 

Don't run if we cry. Just pass us a tissue!

If we don't want to talk then maybe we have had enough of the topic (it is forever going around our head anyway). Don't probe. We will chat in time. And when we do don't try to fix us.

Maybe drag us out for a coffee to clear our head and face the world.

Whatever you do please realise that it is appreciated beyond words and will help us on the road to our recovery. 

Thank you for being my friend and thank you for looking out for those that you care for. 



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  1. Worthing Wanderer15 August 2014 at 14:16

    A very thoughtful article Lulu. I really enjoyed reading it & agree with so much of what you have said

    ReplyDelete

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