100 Sad Days: Day 8; Financial Crisis

Most of us in relationships know that our arguments are circular: we argue about the same things. Also, like many, my partner Chris and I argue about money.

They say money can't buy you happiness and although that may be true (I am yet to find out); I can categorically say a lack of it can put you in to a happiness debt.

I work full time and so does Chris. Eliza is at the childminders full time. Chris is self employed and I have a basic wage that doesn't come near to covering my bills. We do not own our home and no longer have a car of our own having to sell it as we couldn't afford it. We have cut down our spending and still we struggle to make ends meet. I do Avon to give me a little spending money and Chris works weekends.

Yet still we have debt collectors knocking at the door and ringing the door bells. And the sad thing about this is that it may be that I put finances down for part of the reason I am in my sad place but I also think it is a reason I cannot get out.

When you are depressed all jobs seem insurmountable and things like paying bills or answering letters become something you will do later. Direct Debit is great except when you are overdrawn and don't have the funds. You then go from being not very well off to being financially unsound to not being able to afford anything. I knew we had hit a low when the doctor prescribed me my tablets and also offered us a good package at Christmas.

I used to live on a budget and manage my finances, now, with depression I seem to be an ostrich. I bury my head in the sand so when the calls are made I don't need to hear them and when the door bell goes well...

Anyhow I guess what I am saying is that people with this condition need financial advice and help. Oftentimes depressed people cannot work and thus lose their income. This is a terrible illness without route cause, visible issues and long term remedy.

Debt is hard to deal with at the best of times. When you are depressed it is just another weight pulling you down. And don't mistake not having what you want with debt and not being able to afford to live. There is a difference with keeping up with the Jones' and having everything as opposed to having to cut down to one meal a day and wearing more jumpers when the weather turns cold.

I'm just waiting to win the lottery...

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