Mum's Got Cancer; Part Seven

So we have discussed the ins and outs of your funeral.

We have spoken about the type of coffin you want (you said willow originally and now seem happy with a cardboard one). In fact Googling them became quite a fun thing to do - so many to choose from. I have even chosen my own and Alex his (I wonder if there is a bulk option or maybe we can buy flat-packed and store for later use)? I know you want to be scattered so I am ready to order your scatter tube.

I have even looked at Ashes in to Glass - so that we can each have a special "something" to remember you by.

We have spoken of readings and hymns. And ministers. We haven't spoken flowers or donations but I am sure that is yet to come.

We have spoken about how I can let people know of your death and how I am NOT to use the word passed or passing at any point as you really don't like that.

I don't like the phrase "lost their fight" or "given up their fight".

So what to say when the time comes? You have asked me to tell those on Facebook but what about those that are not'? Do people still use papers - do you want people to know?

I can't believe I am writing this and having to think about this but I am forty and I have had the luxury of having you as my mother for all that time and as such I can call myself lucky.

Thank you Mum x

Comments

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Thirteen

It seems amazing to me that I am writing another post. As I rounded the corner at the hospice this morning, walking towards the bay you are in, I held my breath. I was greeted by smiles and there you were. More amazingly I said hello and you spoke back! Mum you are incredible, amazing, an inspiration. Lying there listening, with Alex and I, to some Graham Kendrick. We have moved you to your own room to give you some peace and the freedom to leave us when it feels right for you. In the meantime I am in awe, as a Biologist, that you are still here. All of the staff are amazed and all we are pleased able to offer you respite. You aren't in pain, at least we don't think so, and we know you can hear us. I think you are just catching up on all the sleep you have missed over the years. All of those early mornings; all of those sleepless nights due to your "hot legs". We thought we would lose you to the MS but we were wrong. ...

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is. I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better. That this is it. That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug. Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting. If we want to talk, I promise, we will. Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic. Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond. Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call. It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

LuluSLR: Mum's Got Cancer; Part One

I originally published this post on 13 December 2016, a year before my son was born, and four years ago today. I thought, with the anniversary of Mum's death on the horizon, and with losing two friends to this disease in recent times I would re-publish these posts (minus the fundraising bits for Pancreatic Cancer). I thought long and hard about writing something knowing Mum doesn't like to talk about these things. However I think that everyone now knows and, being selfish: for me this is cathartic. Much like my #100SadDays blog I don't want this to be all doom and gloom. I want to talk about how it has made me feel and how it has affected everyone; including my beautiful mum. I have written about #cancer before; it isn't a new subject for me. I have spoken freely about how I feel about it and how it has affected both me, my family and my friends. I have said that it doesn't "touch" people as so often is coined: it rapes and kills and blights...

My Blog Bubble

Search This Blog