100 Sad Days: Day 15; My Blog: Your Comments

I wanted to write about why I am continuing my blog. Yes it is hard and I am writing more blogs than I am publishing. Maybe because I am worried about how they will be accepted or viewed. About the comments I may receive for my complete honesty.

Anyhow the reason I continue is for the fantastic comments I have received along the way. The little messages to tell me that people I know suffer or have suffered with this illness. And that what I am doing is helping people (including those living with sufferers of this mental illness).

I wanted to share with you some of the comments that keep me posting.... (I hope the authors don't mind; no names mentioned:

"I have just read your blog for first time. I think you are so brave and I am truly inspired by your inner strength and honesty at how you deal with the blackness of depression. I struggle most days too. It's like treading water..... You have really helped me today though - thank you xxx"

"I just wanted to let you know how great your blog is. For me it is very brave to share your thoughts on depression but I think it will educate a lot of people, well I hope that it does anyway. I just wanted to share with you that what you are doing is positive for you to be able to write down your feelings and also for others who read the blog".

"I just want to say a very heartfelt thank you for posting your blog. you have a bravery I wish I had. The things you say...I wish I could say as it is what I am feeling most days"....

"I'm loving your blog hun. So just a quick note to say 'well done' and a thank you... today you have been my wings xx"

Thank you everybody. I hope you stay with me x

Comments

Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

Can we ask just one thing of you:- Please stop asking me how Mum is. I know you mean well and you honestly do care; you want to know that she is ok: but we can't tell you that. In fact we are tired of having to repeat ourselves and remind ourselves that Mum isn't going to get better. That this is it. That we can't help her but can on;y make her comfortable. Maybe ask how I am, or if there is anything you can do, or just give us a hug. Maybe just squeeze our shoulder and don't say anyhting. If we want to talk, I promise, we will. Sometimes, like my Blog, it is cathartic. Other times it hurts in a way I cannot explain. The best thing to do is send a message, a text, an email, and if/when we feel like it we will respond. Forgive us if we see you are calling and cannot take your call. It is tiring, emotionally, to drag our way through a conversation we do not want to have. We know you care and we don't want to appear rude but...

100 Sad Days; Day 39: Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand...

One of the things about depression is the fact that it doesn't matter how bad you are if you know someone is suffering you reach out to them. You don't want then to feel as bad as you so you want them to feel better. You want them to know they are not alone and that you care. I do it all the time and I have realised, since writing this, that many others do the same. It is like a radar. We reach out to help those that are afraid to ask for help themselves. Those we can see are suffering. And like moths to a flickering light we are pulled to those that need us those that have shown bravery and stood up. We draw solace from the fact we are not alone. Strength from being a crook for someone to lean on. Understanding from being someone else's shoulder to cry on, their ear to speak to. Sometimes we say nothing and other times we are the voice of reason. We may not be able to fix ourselves but strive to fix those that bleed, like us, whenever we can. T...

100 Sad Days: Day 17; Uncomfortably Numb

I think one of the scariest feelings that I get with my depression is that of nothingness. Not in a nice yoga-like-meditation way but in a vast emptiness type of a way. It is an all consuming numbness. You just do not care about anything. Not what you say to me or think of me. I am full to brimming with nothing. The darkness comes from this, the lethargy, the apathy. Nothing matters. I think this is where the suicidal tendencies creep in. I don't care what happens next. What would happen if I drove into that tree? Or if I took a cocktail of tablets? I have never seen any such thing through as I have Eliza and she deserves more from me. She is the only thing that makes me feel something and can drag me from my black hole. And for that I will be eternally grateful. The numbness scares me most of all......

My Blog Bubble

Search This Blog