100 Sad Days: Day 15; My Blog: Your Comments

I wanted to write about why I am continuing my blog. Yes it is hard and I am writing more blogs than I am publishing. Maybe because I am worried about how they will be accepted or viewed. About the comments I may receive for my complete honesty.

Anyhow the reason I continue is for the fantastic comments I have received along the way. The little messages to tell me that people I know suffer or have suffered with this illness. And that what I am doing is helping people (including those living with sufferers of this mental illness).

I wanted to share with you some of the comments that keep me posting.... (I hope the authors don't mind; no names mentioned:

"I have just read your blog for first time. I think you are so brave and I am truly inspired by your inner strength and honesty at how you deal with the blackness of depression. I struggle most days too. It's like treading water..... You have really helped me today though - thank you xxx"

"I just wanted to let you know how great your blog is. For me it is very brave to share your thoughts on depression but I think it will educate a lot of people, well I hope that it does anyway. I just wanted to share with you that what you are doing is positive for you to be able to write down your feelings and also for others who read the blog".

"I just want to say a very heartfelt thank you for posting your blog. you have a bravery I wish I had. The things you say...I wish I could say as it is what I am feeling most days"....

"I'm loving your blog hun. So just a quick note to say 'well done' and a thank you... today you have been my wings xx"

Thank you everybody. I hope you stay with me x

Comments

100 Sad Days: Day 29 La La La

Not all abuse in a relationship is physical. Just like all illnesses are not obvious. Although they are "mental" it doesn't make them any less significant. An Open Letter: Your words are often harsh and I let them float over my head. I know it's not you thinking. It's alcohol, it's tiredness, it's money, it's family, it's drugs, its work, it's whatever excuse I decide to label it with to move on. Sometimes they cut so deep. Putting small cracks in my heart that need love to fill the gaps. When this happens forgiveness takes a little longer. When it is constant the opposite happens and I pull down the shutters. I stop feeling. I stop caring. I am numb. This is when I want to never wake up. And then there are the unforgivable things. The venomous words spat from your mouth. Not in anger. Not in rage. Just in hate and apathy. What do I do with those? Where do I go from there?

LuluSLR: Christmas Letter 2020

I simply cannot remember the last time I wrote a Christmas letter - a tradition I had started and planned to continue throughout my life. Not only was it a toast to Mum (she always wrote a great Christmas Letter) but people always liked to recieve them. Well somewhere along the way I stopped doing them. I know I have posted one as a blog post before and here I am again. It isnt the easy way out but it is a more environmental option (and a good one for someone without access to a printer)! My reason for stopping in the past was that I felt I didnt really have very much to say; my letters always seemed to say the same thing - there was always a drama with work (and this year is no different). However 2020 has been a year that no one will forget and as such I thought I should commemerate it with the return of the Crimbo letter! Just before Christmas last year Alex, the kids and I moved in together to a lovely house in Farnignham. It meant that Christmas ...

LuluSLR: Mum's Got Cancer; Part One

I originally published this post on 13 December 2016, a year before my son was born, and four years ago today. I thought, with the anniversary of Mum's death on the horizon, and with losing two friends to this disease in recent times I would re-publish these posts (minus the fundraising bits for Pancreatic Cancer). I thought long and hard about writing something knowing Mum doesn't like to talk about these things. However I think that everyone now knows and, being selfish: for me this is cathartic. Much like my #100SadDays blog I don't want this to be all doom and gloom. I want to talk about how it has made me feel and how it has affected everyone; including my beautiful mum. I have written about #cancer before; it isn't a new subject for me. I have spoken freely about how I feel about it and how it has affected both me, my family and my friends. I have said that it doesn't "touch" people as so often is coined: it rapes and kills and blights...

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