100 Sad Days: Day 22; Selfless Not Selfish

You call me selfish. You say it so often and the funny thing is it is always when I am trying to be selfless. When I say I don't mind or it's your choice. Or maybe it's when I am putting my little girl ahead of me or ahead of you. You call that selfish but I call it being a mother.

Anyhow people often state that depression is a selfish illness and that suicide is a purely selfish act. I too was one until I contemplated it after being taken down by this disease.

We aren't being selfish we are just lost. Not lost in a bubble of our own doing but a void. An empty void. We aren't putting ourselves first or moving away we are just not feeling anything.

And then past that we start to think about our family and friends and what a drain we are on them. We start to think how much better their lives would be without us. So you see, we are far from being selfish, we are trying to be the complete opposite.

Yes those that are left behind will mourn but we totally believe that, in the long run, the world would be better without us in it.

Suicide is often a decision made at the end of a dark path, one we walk alone. We just need to allow someone to help light a candle and shelter it from the storm in our minds.

As an aside I believe suicide is one of the only crimes that if you succeed at you cannot be prosecuted. Or is that a fact I remember incorrectly?

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