100 Sad Days: Day 23; Anxious the Elephant

Anxious the Elephant will mean very little to most folk but asi have friends who worked for Haven Holidays I have heard of him. The reason for the title is a little tenuous.... My thinking was this: anxiety and depression are often the elephants in the room. Completely ignored despite their presence as people are embarrassed about mental illness.

Today's topic is anxiety. I am not a stressy person or a worrier so I am not prone to panic attacks but have witnessed them first hand with my Dad. However today I was feeling a little under the weather but continued as normal. I felt that I was not "happy" and couldn't quite place what was wrong. All of a sudden, for no reason at all, whilst in a shop my stomach somersaulted into my throat and started to strangle me from the inside. Or at least that how it felt. For only the second time in my life I felt a need to run to fresh air, the last time was many years ago in a crowded pub a couple of weeks after I was raped. It was the same emotion I felt today, like I was being chased by an invisible force. My legs were shaky and my breathing shallow. My stress levels went through the roof and there was nothing I could do. And nothing I could relate it to. It was disconcerting to say the least.

There is no moral to this post or advice or any such thing. It is just a post along this journey of mine. Thanks for being there guys.

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Mum's Got Cancer; Part Four

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